We’ve Seen ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 7 Episode 6 and It Is Bananapants
We know we should learn to be patient. We know we should wait until Sunday to watch Game of Thrones.
But, look, HBO España accidentally leaked Season 7, Episode 6, and it just kind of fell in our laps, and... Well, before you knew it we were watching it.
And it. Is. Bananapants, you guys.
So don't read on if you don't want to be spoiled. But honestly, us telling you what happens doesn't even begin to compare to watching it yourself, which you definitely should on Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on HBO.
When we left off last Sunday, Tyrion and Jon had a plan that was either genius or deeply stupid, and this episode picks up with the rag-tag group of royal bastards, Freefolk, and the Brotherhood Without Banners going beyond the wall to capture a wight.
They'll use their undead POW to prove to Cersei she needs to join up against their common enemy.
Um... it doesn't go that well.
Before all the carnage, though, we just have to say that we could watch several hours of these dudes bantering in the cold. Also, Jon and Ser Jorah have a good heart-to-heart.
South of the wall, Arya isn't quite as forgiving as her so-called half-brother.
The Faceless Stark confronts her sister over the scroll she wrote under duress back in Season 1.
In her defensiveness, the Lady of Winterfell reveals her true feelings about Jon ruling when she says it's only because of her, Sansa, that they're standing in Winterfell at all.
Sansa later confers with Petyr Baelish, who lies when Sansa wonders how Arya found the scroll.
The conniver suggests Brienne will choose to protect the Lady of Winterfell over Arya if it comes down to that.
Frankly, we're not sure Brienne can take her, but OK!
Back up North, Tormund and The Hound learn they have a mutual acquaintance in Brienne, and Jon bonds with Beric Dondarrion about cheating death while knowing it will still eventually defeat them.
Death takes its first victim when an undead bear starts attacking the band of warriors, and Thoros is severely wounded.
Oh, and by the way, Beric has a flaming sword. Lightbringer, anyone? He uses it to cauterize Thoros of Myr's wounds.
If you thought that was brutal, wait until they come upon an actual army of undead, though. The band battles them, and Jon shatters one, and the rest fall down behind him, except for one shrieking wight who nearly bites off The Hound's hand.
Hey, good luck getting that thing back to King's Landing, guys!
As Gendry runs off to send a raven to Daenerys, the rest of the group ends up stranded on a rock in the middle of the frozen lake. A number of wights plunge into its icy depths and the rest of the frozen-over lake is surrounded by hundreds of undead. The men are trapped.
Thoros succumbs to either his wounds or the cold in the night, and Beric — who without his priest has just one life to live now — uses his flaming sword to torch the body before he can come back as a white walker.
Jorah and Jon hypothesize that the reason the other walkers fell when one was killed is because he had sired them. That would be interesting. So, if they kill the King, do they kill them all?
Back at Dragonstone, Tyrion seems to be losing the Queen's faith in his advice completely. She rejects his counsel another time when he urges her not to go beyond the wall to save Jon and his troupe.
It's a good thing she did go, at least for fans of Jon (and the Hound and Ser Jorah, and...) because Dany's dragons save them just as the wights are ready to close in.
Unfortunately, there are casualties on the side of good, including one of Dany's dragons. The Night King fells Viserion with one icy spear, and the dead dragon plunges into the icy lake.
One look into the Night King's eyes is enough for Jon to know it's time to retreat. But he falls into the lake while running from a pack of wights.
Though Dany makes a move to save Jon, one of the Night King's spears narrowly misses Drogon and she flees with the rest of the men.
Thankfully, Jon can't seem to die. He pulls himself up out of the lake and onto solid ground.
Before he can succumb to the cold or white walkers, Uncle Benjen comes in out of nowhere and rescues Jon.
The undead uncle sends him off to Eastwatch and seems to succumb to the fate that would have otherwise befallen his "nephew."
Just as Dany is about to head back to Dragonstone, a horse carrying a nearly dead Jonsicle shows up.
Ser Davos defrosts the King in the North and Dany gets to see the Onion Knight was being literal when he talked about Jon being stabbed in the heart.
When he awakens, Jon bends the knee — metaphorically, since he's basically just survived a brush with hypothermia — and you can sense the romantic tension is growing between with Dany and Jon. Ew.
(But considering the incest we've already seen on this show — and the Targaryen family history — an aunt and her nephew is far from the grossest love connection the show could make.)
One family that isn't growing any closer? The Starks. A snooping Sansa finds Arya's bag of faces, and her little sister makes it very clear she'd not have many qualms about adding Lady Stark's to the collection.
Sansa has sent Brienne away to King's Landing to answer Cersei's truce letter, and the men in the North who support her are definitely fair-weather friends so... this should be interesting.
But not as interesting as what happens North of the Wall in the final moments.
Turns out the theories about an ice dragon were 100 percent right.
The Night King resurrects Viserion from the depths of the lake and in the last shot, his eye opens and his once-amber eye glows with an icy blue.
Guys, this doesn't look good for our heroes.